TGROW Resilience Self-Coaching Tool — an interactive five-stage self-reflection guide
T
Topic
G
Goal
R
Reality
O
Options
W
Way Forward
Closing
Personal & Professional Resilience
TGROW
A Reflective Conversation with Yourself
This guide gives you a private, structured space to think through a situation — at your own pace, in your own words. Resilience is not about being unaffected by challenges. It is about working through difficulty, recovering your balance, and growing stronger as a result.
Find a quiet moment. Take a few slow breaths before you begin. Treat this as a conversation between you and your most trusted, non-judgemental self.
| Stage | What you are exploring | |
|---|---|---|
| T | Topic | What is this about? What do I want to focus on? |
| G | Goal | What do I want to achieve or feel differently about? |
| R | Reality | What is actually happening right now? |
| O | Options | What could I do? What choices do I have? |
| W | Way Forward | What am I going to do? What is my first step? |
Work through each stage in order. You do not have to complete the whole guide in one sitting — pause and come back if you need to. There are no right or wrong answers. Write freely and honestly. No one else needs to see what you write.
T
Topic
Setting the scene — what do you want to focus on today?
Before diving into solutions, it helps to name what is actually on your mind. This stage is about bringing clarity to the situation you want to explore — without analysis or judgement. Simply describe it.
Reflection prompts
1.In a few words or sentences, what is the situation or challenge you would like to think about?
2.How long has this been on your mind?
3.
On a scale of 1–10, how significant does this feel to you right now? What makes it that number?
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4.Is there a specific moment, event, or conversation that triggered this for you?
G
Goal
What do you want to achieve, feel, or resolve?
Now that you have named the topic, shift your focus towards what you actually want. Goals in this context do not have to be grand — they might be as simple as feeling calmer, having a clearer mind, or knowing your next step.
Reflection prompts
1.What outcome would make this situation feel better or more manageable to you?
2.How would you know when things had improved? What would you see, feel, or hear that would be different?
3.If this situation were resolved in the ideal way, what would that look like?
4.What matters most to you in relation to this situation? What values or needs are involved?
5.Is your goal about changing the situation — or about changing how you feel about it? Or both?
R
Reality
What is actually happening right now — the honest picture?
This stage requires the most honesty — and the most compassion. Aim to see the situation clearly, without minimising or catastrophising. Describe facts alongside feelings, and notice where one might be influencing the other.
Reflection prompts
1.What is happening right now, as objectively as you can describe it?
2.What have you already tried? What happened as a result?
3.Who else is involved, and what might their perspective be?
4.What feelings are you carrying about this situation? Name them as specifically as you can.
5.What assumptions might you be making that you have not yet tested?
6.Is there anything you might be avoiding thinking about? What would it mean to look at it directly?
7.What resources, strengths, or support do you already have available?
O
Options
What choices do you have? What could you do next?
This is the creative, generative part of your reflection. Generate as many options as possible before evaluating any of them. Do not dismiss an idea too quickly — even options that seem impractical can spark something useful.
Reflection prompts
1.What are all the possible things you could do? List everything — large or small, conventional or not.
2.If fear or self-doubt were not a factor, what would you do?
3.What would a wise, caring friend or mentor suggest to you right now?
4.Is there something you have been putting off that, deep down, you already know you need to do?
5.Which option feels most aligned with your values and what matters to you?
6.What are the potential benefits and risks of each option you are considering?
W
Way Forward
What will you do? What is your first step?
The final stage is about commitment — not to perfection, but to a single, meaningful next step. Small steps taken consistently have extraordinary power. Choose something you genuinely intend to do, however modest.
Reflection prompts
1.Looking at your options, which one feels most right for you at this time?
2.What is the very first step you will take — and by when?
3.Who might you need to involve, inform, or ask for support?
4.What might get in the way, and how could you prepare for that?
5.
On a scale of 1–10, how committed do you feel to taking this step? If it is not a 9 or 10, what would make it higher?
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6.How will you look after yourself as you move forward? What does your wellbeing need right now?
A closing reflection
Before you close, take a moment to notice…
Well done for working through these stages. Take your time with these final questions — they are often where the most important insight emerges.
Reflection prompts
1.What has shifted for you through this reflection — even slightly?
2.What are you taking away from this conversation with yourself?
3.What would you like to acknowledge yourself for today?
Well done for taking this time for yourself.
Reflection is a skill. The more you practise it, the more naturally resilience grows.
When you need more support
Using this guide is a great act of self-awareness — and sometimes reflection alone is not enough. That is not a sign of weakness; it is a sign of wisdom. If you are still feeling stuck, overwhelmed, or distressed, please reach out to:
Your GP or doctor — for physical and mental health concerns
A qualified mental health practitioner — such as a counsellor, psychologist, or therapist
A trusted friend, family member, or colleague — someone who listens without judgement